My hand turned me down
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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