have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
