I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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