yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
