if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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