I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Operation Purity has been aborted
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
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