She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
