In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
