remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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