I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
