I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
