i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
