Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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