He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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