feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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