I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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