On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
