Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
