She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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