I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
