No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
