dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
