just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
