please come you make the beer taste better
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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