Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Fuck appropriateness.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Randomize
