I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
