I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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