I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
