Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
