I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
this will be a night to untag.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
