Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
