Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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