And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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