Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
