the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
