In the future we'll all be gay
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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