Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
