we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
