he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just google imaged poop.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
