I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
