so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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