I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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