we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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