u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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