you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I would fuck him just for his dog
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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