fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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