THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
4 words: hood of his car
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Randomize
