One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
