Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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