She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
