TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
