Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
