i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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