oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
