just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
