Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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