Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
All I want is dick and wine.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
