I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's blow job season.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
