I hate all girls vehemently.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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