whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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