You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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