How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
