Swine flu. Run for my life!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
