I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
